


exile

by swifthawke



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Angst, Break Up, F/M, Guys they just love each other so much, Mutual Pining, Reunions, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:54:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27300763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swifthawke/pseuds/swifthawke
Summary: Six months after the confrontation in Draullir, Sara and Reyes meet again.
Relationships: Female Ryder | Sara/Reyes Vidal
Comments: 1
Kudos: 22





	exile

Reyes tossed the last of his whisky back, frowning. He’d spent the day combing through Spirit’s Ledge, looking for the Nomad’s distinctive shape, but the region had been quiet. He’d been through caves and scoured deserts, but Kadara had been silent. If the Pathfinder had been there, she’d left no sign of her presence.

Eventually, he retreated to his private room in Tartarus in defeat, a whisky and his thoughts his only company.

It’d been six months since he’d seen Sara. Six months since she’d ripped his heart out of his chest and left it to lie in a cave in Draullir.

He’d had the confrontation planned for the better part of the year. Carefully selecting his most trusted agents, laying the groundwork for a confrontation, undercutting Sloane’s leadership whenever he could. He’d almost been ready to move - but then the Pathfinder had burst into his life, in a blaze of hope and idealism, and everything had been turned upside down.

At first, Reyes contented himself with subtly directing her to tasks that suited his own goals. But somewhere along the way, she’d worked her way under his skin, taking ownership of a piece of his heart he thought he’d long closed off. He’d resisted crossing that line as long as he could, until she’d kissed him in a storage room in Outcast HQ and broken the last of his self-control.

Keema had told him to tell Sara the truth about himself, but every time Sara smiled at him, fixed her blue eyes on his, he’d hesitated to taint her light with his darkness. _I’ll tell her soon_ , he would assure himself. _I will_.

And then it was high noon, and it was too late.

He’d expected Sloane to bring backup - the whole thing screamed trap to anyone with sense - but his heart had sunk when the Pathfinder had followed Sloane into that cave. _You_ _fool_ , he’d thought, _you should’ve told her_. But he’d plastered on the Charlatan’s mask, and stepped out onto the ledge to face his fate.

She’d seen straight through him, of course - _they’re one and the same_ \- but she hadn’t interfered with his plans. He’d deliberately lured Sloane away from the Pathfinder, inviting her into a grotesque parody of the standoffs cowboys in vids would engage in, giving his sniper a clear shot, and she’d simply stood there and let him.

But afterwards, her voice had cracked, as she’d asked him - “Why didn’t you trust me?”

He’d stared at her, pleading. “I… liked the way you looked at me. I was afraid that would change.”

He had expected her to yell. He had hoped she’d tell him that nothing had changed, that she still wanted him.

He hadn’t expected her to cry.

“All this time, you were just using me?” she choked, tears beginning to fall down her cheeks.

“Ryder, I-“

“Helping you with the Roekkar? Breaking Vehn Terev out of prison? All just things to undercut Sloane and put you in position for- for this.” She waved a hand to where Sloane’s body lay.

“Ryder, listen to me-“

“You shot her, Reyes! In cold blood! And I helped you! I thought you were-I thought you-“

She sucked in a shuddering breath. “God, Reyes, that- that night on the rooftop, was that a lie too?”

He grabbed her hand, then, hoping to convey the depth of his emotion with the touch of his fingers.

“Of course not. Sara, I couldn’t - I could never lie about how I feel about you.”

She was sobbing openly now, her face wet with tears.

“I can’t believe I let myself think- I’m so gullible, I-“

“That’s enough.” Cora stepped in between them, putting an arm around Sara. “Come on, Ryder. Let’s get you out of here.” She steered her towards the cave entrance, casting a withering glance back at Reyes.

“We’ll be in touch, Vidal.”

That was six months ago. Reyes had tried emailing her in the beginning - _Sara, call me. Don’t leave us like this_ \- but If she’d received his missives, she hadn’t replied. He’d gotten one message from the lieutenant - _Vidal. Our plans for an outpost are on hold. We’ll contact you when we’re ready to progress them._ \- but the silence from Sara had been deafening.

So for months he’d tried to respect her decision, focus on running the port and weeding out the last remaining Outcast cells, but Sara was rarely far from his mind. And one night, after too much whisky and too little thought, he’d pulled out his omnitool and put his heart on the line once again. _Even if you won’t respond, I want you to know that I love you._

She hadn’t replied, of course - but three days later, the Tempest had docked at port.

He’d waited in his private room at Tartarus, his heart in his mouth, but the Pathfinder didn’t visit. He reissued guidance to the Collective - _The Pathfinder is not to be harmed. Give her anything she needs_ \- but he’d had no reports back, except some incomprehensible message a few hours ago about magic water.

He’d even skulked around the throne room for an afternoon, waiting with his eyes on the door, until Keema decided she’d had enough and kicked him out.

He had eventually resorted to taking his shuttle himself and scouring the badlands, but beyond a few scattered outlaw raiders, he’d found nothing. So here Reyes was, drinking alone in a dark room in a dingy bar, waiting for a woman who wasn’t coming.

Sighing, he stalked out of the room, descending the stairs into the main bar. Maybe he’d try Sulfur Springs again. She had to be somewhere.

“No sign of the Pathfinder, Vidal,” Kian said from behind the bar without looking up.

Reyes sighed. “I’m aware.”

Kian continued stacking glasses, but he shot a sideways glance at Reyes. “Heard one of the patrons talking before, though. Apparently there’s quite a celebration going on at Kralla’s Song. Sounds like the Pathfinder turned on the vault and fixed the water.”

“The vault?” Reyes’ mouth was hanging open.

“As much as I detest recommending you visit my direct competitor, it might be worth dropping in. Never know who you might find there.”

“Thanks, Kian. I owe you one.” Reyes had already begun moving to the door.

“You owe me more than one, Reyes. But if this stops you sulking in my bar, I’ll let it slide.”

“Please, Kian. I do not ‘sulk’,” he called over his shoulder.

“Could’ve fooled me.”

Shaking his head, Reyes exited the bar and headed straight for the lift to the port.

His footsteps carried him towards Kralla’s Song, but his mind had travelled back to the night of Sloane’s party, and a bottle of stolen whisky shared on a rooftop. Sara’s head on his shoulder, his arm wrapped firmly around her.

“I love Kadara, you know,” she’d blurted out abruptly.

Reyes chuckled. “Kadara? And here I thought I was the reason you came planetside so often.”

She cast a shy glance his way. “You might have something to do with it.”

He smiled, turning his head to press his mouth against her forehead. “Ah. My wounded pride is mended.”

Sara laughed. “I mean it, though. I love it here.”

“And why’s that, _hermosa_?”

She was silent for a moment, her hands turning the whisky bottle over, before she answered him. “Everyone wants a piece of the Pathfinder. Everywhere I go there are people to save, problems to solve, and Initiative business that needs doing. But on Kadara, I feel… like I don’t have to be the Pathfinder. Like I can be no one.”

Reyes shook his head wryly at the symbolism. _The Charlatan, desperate to be someone, and a Pathfinder who only wanted to be nobody. What a sorry pair of fools we are._

He placed two fingers under her chin, tilting her face up towards his. “You’re someone to me,” he repeated her words back to her, and he delighted in the blush that spread across her cheeks.

“Reyes,” she said quietly. “Thank you for this.”

He ran a thumb over her lower lip, smiling at her. “I told you I owed you something special.”

“Stealing whisky and drinking on a rooftop?” She chuckled at him. but her eyes were soft when they met his. “You have an interesting idea of a date, Reyes.”

He placed a soft kiss on the side of her mouth. “I planned it just for you. I thought you would like it. Was I wrong?”

Sara sucked in a short breath, and her eyes darkened when he pulled back to meet them.

“No,” she whispered.

 _Tell her now_ , Keema’s voice echoed in his head, but the words died in his throat when she leaned forward and kissed him again.

So instead, he’d walked her back to the Tempest, left her with a kiss and a promise of a second date, and returned to his small apartment feeling like a giddy teenager.

And then it had all gone to shit.

Shaking the memory from his head, Reyes slipped into the bar, pulling up short as he took in the scene in front of him. He’d never seen Kralla’s so busy before.

Angara and exiles were crowded into the bar, their conversation loud enough to drown out the music playing from the speakers. He caught snippets of their chatter as he moved through the crowd, eyes scanning for the only face he wanted to see.

“I put my toe in the water and it didn’t even hurt!”

“Umi reckons she can make ice from the water! Remember ice?”

“Should’ve known not to question the Charlatan’s judgment. The Pathfinder really is something else.”

He was moving further in, closer to the bar, when a familiar, melodious chuckle reached his ears and stopped him in his tracks.

Heart skipping in his chest, he turned towards the sound.

And there she was.

Sara had always been beautiful, but tonight she was shining, positively radiating in the bar. She wore her usual casual gear of black leather jacket and grey scarf, but even in monochrome she was brighter than everyone around her.

She was laughing at something Liam had said, head thrown back. The crisis specialist was standing closer to her than Reyes liked, smiling at her, one hand resting on her arm. He could feel rage pooling in his belly, the urge to shove the other man away growing.

“Liam, you idiot. We are not making an action vid.”

“But I can see it now! Sara Ryder in: _The Hero of Heleus_.”

“It’s going to take a lot more drinks to get me in front of a camera.”

“But you stand in front of people and talk all the time! It’ll be just like that.”

“Liam-“ she started, but she paused, her head suddenly snapping up and the smile falling from her face.

Heart in his mouth, he waited for her to turn his way. She was still, but he could see her chest rising and falling rapidly, and the hand holding her glass shook slightly.

But then she turned her back on him, looking in the opposite direction, calling out across the bar.

“Cora! Am I allowed to pull rank on my night off?”

 _Dios_. He loved her.

He slipped back into the shadows of the crowd, and he waited.

—

She knew he was watching her.

Sara had spent her time on Kadara deliberately avoiding the port, and Tartarus, and anywhere she thought Reyes might have been lurking. She’d focused solely on activating the monoliths and turning on the vault, careening across Sulfur Springs at breakneck speed, until Vetra had wryly pointed out that there was no prize for activating a vault in record time.

Now that the vault was on, she’d planned to retreat to the Tempest and send Cora out to discuss the outpost plans. But against her better judgment, she’d let her crew drag her into Kralla’s Song for a night off. All of them were wise enough to avoid mentioning Tartarus - Liam had even positioned himself on her right as they moved back through the slums, blocking her view of the bar - and she’d hoped that Reyes would have the sense to avoid her.

She should’ve known that the Charlatan would have his ways of finding out where she was.

SAM, the bastard, had alerted her to Reyes’ presence through their private channel - _Pathfinder. Mr Vidal is approximately 19 paces to your left_ \- but she’d ignored them both, turning her back on the rest of the room and focusing on her crew.

She refused to give Reyes the satisfaction of knowing how far under her skin he’d wormed himself. He’d taken everything else she’d willingly given to him and used it, taken advantage of her trusting nature to further his own goals.

His heart was probably whole, full of powerlust and heady joy from taking the throne she had given to him. But hers felt like it had been ripped in two.

He’d been emailing her, but she’d refused to read them, ordering SAM to delete them instantly. But his most recent one had popped up on her terminal while she was scanning through APEX updates from Kandros, and she’d clicked on it without thinking.

_Even if you won’t respond, I want you to know that I love you._

She’d scowled, deleting it instantly, but his words had lingered in her brain. The little voice in the back of her mind, the one that she’d been trying to silence for the past six months, had grown louder than ever. _He loves you. And you still love him._

So against her better judgment, she’d gone to the bridge and requested a course to Kadara for the first time in six months. Cora had raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. The trip had been all business - monolith to monolith to monolith to vault- and while she told herself she was just setting up the outpost, she knew her motivations for coming here lay somewhere else.

Six months, and yet she could still feel his hands on her body, the taste of his tongue in her mouth, the feel of his lips on her skin.

And now she could feel his eyes burning into her back.

“More drinks?” Liam was leaning into her again, a drunken grin on his face.

“You know it, Kosta. Whisky.”

Liam gave her a mock salute. “Aye aye, ma’am.”

“Call me that again and I’m cutting you off my tab.”

He just laughed, moving away towards the bar and leaving her alone.

Sara paused, looking around, all too aware of Reyes’ eyes on her back. _Shit_. She needed someone to talk to. She had taken half a step towards where Drack was leaning against the wall when a familiar Angaran drawl interrupted her movement.

“Pathfinder. Nice to see you again.”

Keema Dohrgun had approached her, drink in hand, a small smile on her face.

 _Fuck_. “You too, Keema,” Sara said, plastering a smile she didn’t feel on her face.

“It’s been too long. You know you are always welcome on Kadara.”

“Sure,” Sara said shortly, looking away from the other woman.

Keema cleared her throat. “So. Now that you’ve restored the vault, I assume you’d like to discuss establishing an outpost on Kadara.”

“Yes. But not tonight, Keema! This is a party!” Sara flung her hand out, gesturing to the crowd around her. “Let’s relax.”

“Well. I’m happy to have that conversation eventually, but I believe there’s a different one you need to have first. With someone else.”

Sara's stomach flipped over. “What conversation?” she asked innocently, but she knew what was coming.

“You broke his heart, you know. He hasn’t been the same since you left.”

That wasn’t what she thought was coming.

“He’s been moping around Kadara Port for the last six months. The Collective may have claimed the port, but I’ve never seen him so miserable.“

Sara’s heart caught in her chest, but she forced her emotions back down. “Keema, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“When you docked on Kadara Port, he spent an entire afternoon waiting in the throne room, looking at the door. It was pathetic.”

“I _said_ , I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Very well. But one last thing, Pathfinder. My experience so far with human emotion is that you make everything far more complicated than it needs to be. Just go talk to him, will you? I know he needs to hear from you.”

“I’ll take it under consideration, Keema,” Sara said shortly.

Keema nodded, understanding the dismissal for what it was, and then slipped back into the crowd, leaving Sara with her thoughts.

_He loves you. And you still love him._

The sound of the crowd was suddenly overwhelming, the people too close, the air too warm. What had felt cosy and festive just moments before was now stifling, suffocating.

So she fled.

Sara slipped out of the bar, heading up to a quiet spot on the docks. She sucked in a deep breath, focusing on the cool of the air and letting the muted sounds of the market fade into the background. Holding onto the railing, she looked out over Kadara, watching the sun slowly sink beneath the mountains.

The sunsets were still beautiful here. Sara had loved watching them once, brilliant colours wrapping the planet in a fiery blanket. Tonight, Kadara burned, purples and pinks and reds and oranges setting the sky aflame.

The scrape of a boot on the steel brought her back to herself.

He’d followed her, of course. She knew he would.

“You have been avoiding me, _mi amor_.”

“Don’t call me that,” she tried to snap, but her voice faltered.

“Sara,” he whispered.

He was standing behind her. She could feel his presence radiating at her back, like he was Kadara’s burning sunset and the colours across the sky were just a pale imitation.

“What do you want, Reyes?” she said shortly.

“You know what I want.”

“Do I?”

He was silent behind her.

Sara laughed bitterly. “I already gave you an entire planet. Come to ask for another?”

She heard him sigh softly, the sound slightly closer to her than before. “I wanted the port, yes, but Sara... if you were the price of it, it came at too high a cost.”

She shook her head fiercely, but his email to her came to mind.

“You said you loved me,” she said flatly.

Reyes chuckled, but there was no humour in the sound. “So you have been reading my emails.”

“Was that a lie too?”

He had moved to her side now. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw one hand reaching for her but faltering mid-air, like he doubted the reaction he would receive if he touched her.

“Sara. Look at me.”

She stared stubbornly out at the Kadaran sunset. She knew once she looked at him, she’d break, and she needed to hold onto her resolve, stop herself from falling back into the arms of a criminal and a liar, protect her heart from being shattered once more.

Reyes sighed again. “I told you before. I could never lie about how I feel about you.”

She opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came out.

“Would you like me to tell you exactly how I feel, Sara?”

Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest. “No.” _Yes_.

His voice was low, his accent thicker than usual. “I have been unable to stop thinking about you since you left, _mi amor_.”

_He loves you._

“You are the brightest star in my galaxy, Sara. I have missed you fiercely. Kadara Port has been cold and grey without you here to light it up.”

_And you still love him._

“Sara-“ she heard him suck in a deep breath. “I love you. Come back to me.”

She broke, then, glancing across to where he stood.

His eyes were raw, the quiet desperation in them digging deep into her soul. The last of the sunset was reflected in his amber eyes, making them look like they were on fire. Reyes had always been beautiful, but in front of her tonight, he was radiant, burning for her in the glow of the Kadaran sunset.

“You’re good with words, Reyes,” she tried to snap, but her voice caught on his name.

“Come back to me, _mi amor_ ,” he repeated, his eyes soft as they watched her own.

“I can’t,” she whispered. “The Pathfinder and the Charlatan? It’s impossible.”

He shook his head. “The Charlatan is just a title, Sara. When I am with you, I’m Reyes.”

“Is Reyes even your real name?”

“It’s what my mother called me,” he said lightly, but then sighed and looked away before returning to meet her eyes. “It’s my real name.”

He stepped closer to her, his eyes scanning her own. “Sara. Nothing about us was a lie. You know who I really am,” he said, repeating the words he had given to her that day in Draullir. One hand returned to the air, reaching out to take hers, when-

“Anubis,” she breathed.

His hand stopped in its tracks. For the first time since she’d met him, he looked genuinely shocked. “How do you know about that?”

“How many secrets are you keeping from me, Reyes?”

He said nothing, but his eyes were cast downwards, and his face reflected the fear she’d seen on his face the day in the cave.

“Well?” She could feel the hysteria rising within her.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” he admitted in a low voice.

“Then tell me something!” she almost shrieked, her knuckles going white on the railing.

He was silent again, still staring at the steel grates.

“Tell me about Anubis,” she prompted. “The god of death.”

“Or the patron god of lost souls,” he said quietly, meeting her eyes.

“Which one are you?”

“Why can’t I be both?”

Sara let out a surprised laugh. “Yes. Like you are both Reyes Vidal and the Charlatan.”

He stared at her, mouth opening to issue a rebuttal, but she continued.

“It’s not just a title, Reyes. It’s who you are. You can deny it all you like, pretend you lock it off in some separate part of your mind, but it’s a part of you. Just like-“

“Sara Ryder and the Pathfinder,” he finished for her, his eyes hollow.

They stared at each other. Two people, two titles, two very different sets of expectations on their shoulders. The Pathfinder and the Charlatan. The hero and the criminal. Heleus’s hope and a shady bastard.

The last of the sun dipped below the horizon, casting them both in shadow.

Sara turned back to the darkened landscape. “So what now?”

“Why are you here, Sara?”

She started at that. “I activated the vault,” she snapped, her jaw clenched as she stared at the dusky peaks. “Surely even you noticed that.”

Reyes chuckled again. “I did. I never doubted you could.”

“Then why-“

“But that’s not what I asked,” he interrupted her. “Why are you _here_?”

She looked down at her hands, still holding onto the railing, before glancing back up at the mountains. “I don’t know.”

“Don’t you?”

She groaned. “Reyes, I don’t know what you’re playing at, but-“

“You’re out here by yourself because you don’t want to be the Pathfinder right now.”

She glanced over at him in shock. His jaw was set, but his amber eyes were soft as he watched her.

“You told me on the rooftop that on Kadara, you don’t have to be the Pathfinder. But in that bar, that’s all everyone saw - the hero, the saviour, the Pathfinder who turned poison into water.”

Sara felt a telltale prickle at the back of her eyes, and she blinked rapidly, turning her face back to the mountains before he could see her watery eyes.

“Everyone except me,” Reyes said softly, and moved his arm once more, but this time his hand found hers on the railing.

“Reyes-“ she started, but he continued.

“I love you, Sara. All of you. I don’t care if you’re a Pathfinder, or a Ryder, or whoever you are. I just love you. And I only want to be with you.”

The tears were pooling in her eyes now. She looked down to where his hand covered hers, his fingers stroking her gently.

Reyes’ rich voice echoed at her side. “I think you want to be with me, Sara. Tell me if you don’t, and I’ll leave you. But… if you want me, we can make this work, Sara. I promise.”

She took a deep breath. “I loved Reyes Vidal, when I thought I knew him,” she said shakily. “I don’t know how to love the Charlatan.”

He pushed his fingers through hers, interlacing them. “But, if as you said, we are one and the same, then you did love the Charlatan.”

“But I didn’t know you!” Sara cried out. “You aren’t the man I thought you were.”

“I want to be,” he said quietly, and she could feel his eyes watching her face. “You make me better, Sara. My life has been infinitely brighter just by having you in it.”

“Oh, yeah. That’s why you murdered a woman in cold blood.”

She felt him turn slightly away from her, heard the scuff of a boot on the steel, before he spoke up again. “What have you heard about the port in the last six months?”

Sara looked back at the dark mountains on the horizon. “Things have been better,” she admitted quietly. “The angara are happy. Trade is up. Morale is good.”

“This is what I wanted, Sara. Peace.”

“And what exactly are you doing to keep it, Reyes?”

He made a noise in the back of his throat. “Not charging protection fees or putting people’s heads on spikes, for starters.”

Sara gritted her teeth. He was right, and she hated him for it. The Collective was the better choice for Kadara Port. _Reyes_ was the better choice for Kadara Port.

“Why can’t I stop thinking about you?” she choked suddenly, her free hand gripping the railing. “I should hate you. I do hate you.”

“No you don’t,” he whispered to her, and squeezed her hand.

She opened her mouth to tell him otherwise, but all that came out was a shaky sob.

"Let me ask you a question, Sara," Reyes said, his fingers tightening on hers. She didn't respond, but he took her silence as approval, because he continued.

“You said ‘loved’, before,” he said quietly. “You no longer have any feelings for me. Is that true?”

Sara made the mistake of looking at him again. If there’d been fear on his face before, it paled in comparison to the sheer despair gripping his features now.

She knew she could end it right here. Tell him she didn’t, leave him broken and ruined, instruct Kallo to depart Kadara and never return.

_Is that true?_

“No,” she whispered, tears beginning to fall freely down her face, and Reyes moved instantly.

He closed the distance between them and wrapped her in his arms, pulling her tightly to him. Every part of her was screaming, telling herself to push him away, but instead she buried her face in his neck, trying to stifle her sobs.

“Sara, _mi alma,_ come back to me.”

“Reyes, I don’t know how to do this,” she sobbed into his neck.

“Then we’ll figure it out.”

“I tried so hard to stop loving you, but I couldn’t. I can’t, I-“

“Then don’t stop.”

She pulled back to look at him, her breath coming in short gasps in her chest.

He cupped her face in his hands, using a thumb to wipe the tears from her cheeks. “Love me. Let me love you.”

“Reyes,” she whispered. “I-“

And then he kissed her.

It was like a cool breeze on a hot night, like breaking the surface of the water after a dive, like the sun bursting through a dark cloud. He tasted like whisky. He felt like home.

She pulled away, gasping, but Reyes pressed his forehead against her own, breathing heavily.

“Tell me what to do, Sara,” he said raggedly. “I’ll do anything for you.”

“I have to go,” she whispered, but she didn’t move.

“You are too precious for me to lose again,” he murmured, dropping his hands from her face to rest at her waist.

“I have to go,” she said again, but instead she leant into his touch, letting his arms tighten around her.

“Not yet,” he told her. “Stay here with me.”

The rational part of Sara’s brain was telling her the Pathfinder couldn’t be seen in the arms of an exile and a smuggler, that she needed to pull herself away and return to the bar and the party thrown in her honour.

Instead, she let go of the Pathfinder, and Sara Ryder let Reyes wrap his arms around her, pulling her flush against his chest. Sara Ryder clung to him, buried her face in his neck, took shaky breaths as he whispered endearments to her.

And there they stood, Sara Ryder and Reyes Vidal, holding onto one another as the Andromedan stars began to twinkle over the port.


End file.
